`Read E-pub ⚤ City of Bones  Cassandra Clare – Dragonsushi.se

`Read E-pub ⚤ City of Bones î When Fifteen Year Old Clary Fray Heads Out To The Pandemonium Club In New York City, She Hardly Expects To Witness A Murder Much Less A Murder Committed By Three Teenagers Covered With Strange Tattoos And Brandishing Bizarre Weapons Then The Body Disappears Into Thin Air It S Hard To Call The Police When The Murderers Are Invisible To Everyone Else And When There Is Nothing Not Even A Smear Of Blood To Show That A Boy Has Died Or Was He A Boy This Is Clary S First Meeting With The Shadowhunters, Warriors Dedicated To Ridding The Earth Of Demons It S Also Her First Encounter With Jace, A Shadowhunter Who Looks A Little Like An Angel And Acts A Lot Like A Jerk Within Twenty Four Hours Clary Is Pulled Into Jace S World With A Vengeance When Her Mother Disappears And Clary Herself Is Attacked By A Demon But Why Would Demons Be Interested In Ordinary Mundanes Like Clary And Her Mother And How Did Clary Suddenly Get The Sight The Shadowhunters Would Like To Know I was never expecting anything from this but an entertaining and maybe a little bit forgettable book I was wrong I found this completely unforgettable For being a trainwreck.To be quite honest, I think 75% of the hype for this series comes from nostalgia Listen, I m sorry, I know this isn t everything, but I really don t get why these first three books are hyped, on any level Not only do I have ten million problems with the tropey nature and the slutshaming and the etc etc etc, it s also just boring and also, I hate every single character I hated almost everything about this, until book three, which I thought was okay because it didn t take me four months you think I m kidding and also for ending the incest plotline Yeah, that Listen, I am not opposed to fun trash I read The Infernal Devices this year and it was fantastic, and books two and three basically emotionally killed me inside But this was not fun for me Okay, so first of all, because we ve all talked about this, The Mortal Instruments is kind of based off Cassandra Clare s Harry Potter fanfiction no, I m not kidding , and it is painfully obvious There are basic things, like that humans are known as mundanes, while in Harry Potter they are known as muggles But then there s also the fact that the characters kind of feel like not good fanfiction interpretations of various Harry Potter characters Our redheaded lead character, Clary Fray, is a slightly stupider version of Ginny Weasley Her love interest, Jace Wayland, is essentially Draco Malfoy if everyone excused his actions because he s super hot I really don t like Jace Jace becomes a member of the Ripoff Death Eaters in like book two because his father is Ripoff Voldemort his name is Valentine which is actually hilarious Simon is Harry again, not a very good one , and Isabelle is Hermione, if Hermione were there exclusively to be slut shamed by the angelic virgin protagonist I mostly said this to point out how utterly fucking dull these characters are, but listen, I m not actually wrong about this If you match the characters up to her fanfiction which is not hard , the pairings fit You know that thing I linked up above Well, it discusses how the fanfiction trilogy I mean, kudos for that dedication is endgame Draco Ginny and Harry Hermione, with subtext between Harry Draco I m so sorry, I m laughing typing this The endgame of this series is Jace Clary and Simon Isabelle, with subtext between Jace Simon Do you think I m kidding But listen, you d think that after ripping from fucking Harry Potter, Clare would ve at least come up with something interesting I mean, fiction doesn t have to be original to be good But again, it s basically boring, boring, boring, offensive, boring, jace is hot chapter, boring I don t even know where I m going with this, I just need you all to know that this originated as Harry Potter fanfiction Although I will point out that the original fanfiction this was based off of got taken off fanfiction.net after plagiarism accusations And then there were Sherrilyn Kenyon s plagiarism accusations I mean, I think fanfiction and original fiction used to be considered very different things in a way they almost aren t today, but it s important to know.Anyway I ve established at this point that the characters are flat, it s all painfully derivative, and the books themselves are boring But there is so much.Beyond the issue of Clary s I m not like other girls thing, there s also the issue of messily handled lgbtq stuff So, yes, it s 2005, and I m willing to excuse this a little bit Alec Lightwood s entire presence in this book is to Create Some Angst through homophobia and it feels so much like a plot device, not going to lie While it s fair to mention that Cassandra Clare has improved her lgbtq rep severalsapphic friends of mine would like to notify you that The Dark Artifices is awesome wrt this it s not good in this series Alec is barely a POV character in the first three books of the series, despite being marketed as a major character, and feels super tokenistic Also, just his treatment At one point in this series, his mother, who is a supposedly likeable character, tries to kill him and his boyfriend for being gay, which he forgives her for how There is later on a lot of explicit biphobia towards Magnus who is my favorite I love Magnus that is not subverted or criticized at all, and in this book especially, there s an intonation of that slutty bi trope though the character is allowed to develop beyond that, man, it is there.You re not gay, are you Simon s greenish color deepened If I were, I would dress betterthis is not funnyNo, Cassandra Clare would rather focus on something else a sideplot where Ripoff Ginny Weasley believes Hot Draco Malfoy is her brother for two fucking books It is exactly as terrible as it sounds For two full books, I had to live through Ripoff Ginny Weasley s angst over her crush on her brother and about their forbidden love or whatever the shit Yes, I KNOW view spoiler they eventually realize they weren t related But here s the thing they re still in love when they believe they are hide spoiler IMPORTANT EDIT 1 14 18 Fam, I wrote this review in 2011 All of y all commenting in 2018 need to get over it I ve moved to a different account I ve moved past Cassandra Clare and while I maintain that this book is a blatant rip off of about 1000 other books and while a lot of you insist that she s an original author, like it or not, she does have a history with plagiarism bad behavior , I haven t read any of her new stuff so I can t tell you if she s continued to toe the line with plagiarism or write poorly In fact, I can tell you that a lot of people whose opinions I trust say that she s become a much better, original writer I ve even considered reading some of her newer books If you enjoy her writing, good for you If these books she s written are important to you, I m happy for you My opinions are my opinions, you don t have to share them What s really gross is the amount of bullying and personal attacks that are going on in these comments and in messages I ve received While I do regret some of the harshness of the original view, attacking me or anyone else in the comments on either side of the fence is gross I ve received abuse about my looks, about my writing abilities I don t write , about my sex life people implying I should get laid , about my mental health, and even a few messages telling me to kill myself All because you don t like my opinion of a book Guys, even if you hate this review, you have to see that this is way too much.I ve grown up since writing this review and I sincerely hope that some of you have matured, too, since writing some of the hate that I ve read some of of which I ve deleted in these comments Please stop Please move on Review from 1 24 11 I ve been deliberating for a few hours over doing a Serious Business review of City of Bones and outlining the infinite number of problems that lie within, but I decided that any critical thought that I could flesh out isn t going to be anything that you ve never heard before Therefore, I choose the low road sarcasm and mockery.Oh, Cassie Clare, you so crazy I can only guess that after writing almost a million words of Harry Potter fan fiction, a bunch of people sucking your e cock for stealing whole paragraphs from books and quotes from Buffy simply wasn t enough No, I understand You had to capitalize on all that time spent typing up whole paragraphs from books and outlining plots that pretty blatantly ripped off from various films, books, etc I get it I m sure that s how the Mortal Instruments came to fruition It is painfully obvious that your dopey red haired ingenue and snarky blond asshole were essentially Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy in Original Character clothing Ditto Simon being a hybrid of Harry Ron and maybe Isabelle being a slutty Hermione But wait, you didn t stop there Hodge is Lupin Peter Pettigrew 2.0 and Luke is better known by his other name, Sirius Black, and I am not entirely sure why you didn t just call Valentine by his true name Voldemort And seriously, though, why not just call the Mortal Instruments by their true name the Deathly Hallows But wait, it gets better Strong with this novel, the Force is because somehow there s a creepy Luke and Leia thing going on with Clary and Jace which, for the record dude, that s nasty How dare you let them make out and then discover they re related Because I had to know in order to keep myself from hurling up my dinner, I did discover that this little detail does get resolved eventually, but I reiterate that s nasty I thought the point of this book was to make teenage girls hold their hands to their hearts and swoon, not make them want to upchuck with what I find to be your disturbing affinity for incest seriously you had the whole six episodes of Star Wars to steal, uh, draw inspiration from and you pick the creepy incesty parts But it s weird, because if Jace and Clary are Luke and Leia, does that make Simon Han Solo In a weird way, I found Jace s whole over confident demeanor to be like Han, which I guess is pretty on point with what happens in later novels In other news, I will no longer be referring to Valentine as simply that he is now Darth Valentine Yes, I said it I guess this makes Jocelyn Padme, except she s not dead yet.I must give you where credit where credit is due, though Clary isn t a total dumb, annoying, doormat heroine, which is essentially my biggest pet peeve in the entirety of fiction Instead, Clary is just dumb and annoying Why the fuck does she slap everyone It doesn t make her a strong, venerable female, it makes her a psychotic bitch, especially since there wasn t a single justifiable slap she delivered Also, she s a moron Blind, deaf babies knew that Simon was in love with her My dog knew that Simon was in love with her and the most complicated thought he has in a day is, gee, I think I ll lick my junk today I have no idea why it s such a surprise to her, really This brings me to my second greatest pet peeve and yet another trope that you liberally borrowed from, well, everyone all the boys want Clary What the hell is this shit Clary isn t even likable You stole it off of Stephenie Meyer who stole it off of L.J Smith and frankly You keep copying copies, the shittier looking and harder to read they get You are not an exception, you are the rule.Also, okay So the Clave is like the circle of Jedi, right And the Circle is like the Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters, sort of, but bad So, like, Order of the Sith, kind of Also, is Darth Valentine channeling Magneto from X Men The Last Stand with his whole purifying the race bullshit I think he is Now that I ve brought the X Men into the picture, I can see the vast similarities there, too Clary is film version Rogue and Wolverine Rogue because she can t be with the person she loves physically Rogue s life sucking power Clary s being in love with her brother and Wolverine because of the whole not having any memories thing and wondering why he has all this power Also, The Institute The Knight Bus Hogsmeade The Leaky Cauldron because sometimes the Institute boards travelers and there s bad food at all three places, much like Isabelle s cooking and also Xavier s School For Gifted Youngsters and Hodge is kind of Professor Xavier esqe his inability to leave the institute Professor X s disability and also The Jedi Training Academy and also possibly Starfleet from Trek.You know what the funniest thing about all this is, Cassie Clare You aren t even stealth about stealing. You know, when most people shoplift, they maybe do a cursory look for the cameras and stuff something in their pocket when they think no one is looking, but you re that chick that goes up to the clerk, asks a clerk a question about a product you have in your hand while winking that you just don t have the money to pay for it In this book there were blatant reference to both X Men and Star Wars Magneto and Prof X by name and the dice hanging up in the Millennium Falcon.Now that I ve drawn all necessary attention to your totally original content, I want to talk about the story in general I read this book because it was handed down to me by my recently turned eleven year old niece I figured, okay, I ll figure out what the big deal is with this book since everyone and their mom no, really, I think my mom, too has read it My niece isn t what anyone would call fastidious she hates cleaning her room and at dinner, she likes to mash all of her food together and make a sculpture with it and then eat it Imagine my surprise when I saw that the portion of the book I borrowed from her had pages upon pages of highlighted words I figured, aw cute, she highlighted her favorite parts But, no, my eleven year old niece had gone through the book and highlighted grammatical errors There were misspellings, comma splices, and just general bad phrasing all throughout She had also highlighted words that she saw in multiples Seriously, Cassie Clare, I get it Every time a wolf shows up in your book, you don t have to describe it as brindled I get it Did your word of the day calendar run out Did you lose your thesaurus Do you have a short term memory problem and forget that you used the word brindled to describe a wolf eight times I can t even talk about the metaphors and the similes I can t I used to like them Now they make me want to punch toddlers in the face because your book is full of approximately nine hundred and thirty three million of them I am also not going to talk about your bizarre tense changes and the random chapter you threw in from Luke s point of view which was completely out of character for both a man and a human, let alone Luke no one talks like that.Another thing that I want to reference is this whole stele thing In Tatiana s review, she mentioned that there didn t seem to be any parameters with this stele it seemed to be a fix it for whenever you had written yourself into a hole I may not have noticed it had I not read the review first, given that as I was trudging through, I was filled with an irrational rage It s a very good point, though But since I read your book in three days just to get through it, I m feeling like an asshole and I want to ask the following questions can the stele make me look like Scarlett Johansson can the stele magic a cheeseburger out of thin air These are questions of vital importance Because if the stele can t, maybe you want to consider it in case one of your characters gets stuck on an island with no food for three years or something.In conclusion, Cassie Clare, OF COURSE YOUR BOOK IS GOOD YOU STOLE EVERYTHING IN IT FROM OTHER PEOPLE I just want to say that I sincerely hope that you make have made a lot of money off your books I also hope that the people you blatantly stole your content from take it all from you when they sue you.Here is the Reader s Digest version of this review The Mortal Instruments Harry Potter Star Wars X Men possibly Star TrekClary Fray Ginny Weasley Princess Leia Rogue Wolverine Uhura Cassandra Clare, herselfJace Wayland Draco Malfoy Luke Skywalker Han Solo Wolverine possibly Captain KirkSimon Harry Ron Cyclops sometimes Han Solo possibly SpockIsabelle Slutty Hermione one of the green chicks Captain Kirk always hits it with one of Jabba the Hut s slaves possibly Jubilee or another dumb, irrelevant mutantAlec token gay character C 3P0 Luke Sirius Black ChewbaccaJocelyn PadmeHodge Remus Lupin Peter Pettigrew Professor XavierValentine Voldemort Darth Vader MagnetoThe Institute The Knight Bus Hogsmeade The Leaky Cauldron 12 Grimmauld Place Xavier s School For Gifted Youngsters Starfleet AcademyChurch the cat Mrs Norris R2D2the portals Floo Network Disapperating Beam me up, ScottyEDIT Someone pointed out that mundies muggles GOOD POINT, YO



15 year old Clary witnesses a crime at a trendy New York night club Interesting thing, nobody but Clary can see both the victim and perpetrators As it turns out, there is an entire invisible to regular people world, and Clary is an unwitting important part of it City of Bones is one of those books that all my female friends and fellow readers simply love, Jace mania all around Needless to say, I had to jump on the bandwagon eventually and get me some Jace Who am I to deny myself a pleasure to fall for a fictional hot, sarcastic and brooding guy Imagine my disappointment, when I found out that this book was one big pile of hot mess Sorry ladies, I said it, it s bad.I had the hardest time sticking to the story and for quite some time I couldn t figure out why Then gradually I realized that there were several reasons.Let me start with the editing I don t really think this book was edited at all, actually Errors were endless and visible to even my untrained eye wrong words noise instead on nose missing words in sentences strange mix of POVs the book is mostly told in 3rd person, from Clary s POV, but occasionally I saw both 3rd and 1st person narration in the same paragraph describing the same events, then there was a page from Jace s POV and a chapter from Luke s Clary s father was called Jonathan in the beginning of the book, but John in the end I can go on, but these were the things that I would normally overlook if the story itself was good Unfortunately it wasn t, and the errors stood out.I didn t think that the story was cohesive, it just didn t quite flow for me It read as of a series of events rather than a novel I thought there were some parts in the book that served no other purpose but to give our hero an opportunity to act knight like I am talking about the entire rat Simon vampires extravaganza This story line could have been edited out completely without any damage to the narrative IMO.I couldn t quite relate to any of the characters either What made my friends sigh with adoration, annoyed me I hated the sarcasm, mainly because the jokes, although funny, felt often out of place, plus all of the characters attempting to joke, sounded exactly the same to me I didn t feel the difference in attitudes of Clary, Simon, and Jace If Clare had to make Jace a witty sarcastic type, she should have made the wisecracks his exclusive trademark, not everybody s.The story itself was so ridiculously predictable I do not normally see what is to come in the books, but in COB, I saw every revelation coming Clare just doesn t have a skill to lead to them subtly, it s always in your face Valentine is alive revelation who in this book who was thought to be dead was actually dead a serious question , your mother put a spell on you revelation, the big father brother revelation I could see them all, and I am not the most astute reader out there.Now, my biggest problem with this book I ve read seen it all before Clare borrows so liberally from Star Wars, Harry Potter and Buffy, it is simply impossible to overlook Valentine Voldemort Darth Vader combo Jace Clary Luke Draco Leia Ginny if it is possible combo the Circle reversed Order of the Phoenix Death Eaters combo the Clave Ministry of Magic Luke Lupin Snape combo Hodge Giles Wormtail combo I can continue, but will stop here, you get the picture Granted, there is nothing absolutely original in paranormal genre, but a skillful writer can re work an old theme and make it new, fresh, and unique Whatever is original in COB, is not quite thought through As an example, let s take a stele After finishing this book, I still have no idea what exactly it does do you only write runes with it how exactly do you use it in a battle why it can open some doors and not others it can heal, but not everything it can make you be able to see through a wooden screen, but is it because you write a special rune with it or you use it as a wand It seems to me stele is pretty much used as a deus ex machina, convenient whenever a quick solution to a problem needed And what s with all the shadow folk There is just so much mashed up together fairies, vampires, werewolves, pixies, jinns You name any mythical creature, it is in this book And what about magic I read about spells made by a warlock, stele rune tricks, curses, where does it end The limits of magic possibilities were never defined Bottom line, all these inconsistencies make for one unoriginal and messy imaginary world And this probably was the main reason why I couldn t connect with this book Finally, I was a little surprised by some of Clare s creative choices I found both flirtations of at least 35 year old warlock he might be older, his age was never mentioned with a gay teenage boy and reversed Leia Luke extravaganza quite tacky, if not disturbing Although I know how Jace Clary family matter is resolved in the end, I don t find possibly incestuous relationships appealing.This review might make it seem like COB is the worst book ever written I wouldn t say so, after all, I ve read Breaking Dawn, and that book doesn t have any plot There were some nice Jace Clary moments, the greenhouse birthday party comes to mind But was COB the most blatantly unoriginal book I ve ever read Absolutely although I haven t read Eragon yet, but I heard a lot about it.In all honesty, I shouldn t give this book than 1 star, but I will add a second one as a dedication to one Mrs Jace Wayland Would I recommend this book Sure, many of my friends enjoyed it immensely Will I continue on with the series I don t think I will be able to convince myself to waste any of my time on being mad at a book I think I will just check out plot summaries on wiki and be done with the series.P.S I just read that Cassandara Clare is an avid and famous in certain circles fanfiction writer I guess that s where all the liberal borrowing comes from Mystery solved. Warning won t contain spoilers cause I didn t get far enough to give a fuck and discover anything worth spoiling Okay, so let me get this out straight I have never NOT finished a book before Okay, I m lying The History of Sexuality Volume 1 by Michel Foucault remains unfinished as does Villette by Charlotte Bronte Why Because they were boring.Because, as I read them, I wanted to take a cheese grater to my skull and rub vigorously just to have something to do But I have never NOT finished a Young Adult paranormal novel before And I ve read some BAAAAAD books But I didn t finish this book because it goes beyond bad It makes the History of Sexuality seem amazingly interesting and colourful.To be fair to Ms Clare, I was not actually reading her novel so much as listening to the Audiobook The Narrator, Graynor, did a particularly craptastic job.To be fair to Ms Graynor, she didn t have much to work with I tuned her out, I swear, I was focusing on the actual prose, taking in the story, trying to get interested But the writing was terrible It was painful The characters were annoying.Now, I ve been fair to Ms Clare and I ve been fair to Mr Graynor So there s only you left to be fair to now.And in order to do that, I have to admit that I wasn t EXPECTING to like this book I was, however, expecting to be pleasantly surprised, and I ll explain why.Many years ago, Cassandra Clare was Cassandra Clair a VERY popular FF author in the Harry Potter and LoTR circles I actually greatly enjoyed her Draco Trilogy I ve read it many times I had heard that this book was very similar to DT and so I was expecting to find it to be a guilty pleasure Something my moral compass told me to leave behind, but that I would actually enjoy too much to do so But I was wrong.Yeah, she plagiarized that work and I won t really go into it except to post a link because in the end, I m not reviewing her, I m reviewing her work.But here s the problem Jace is really just Draco from DT Simon is really just Ron and Harry amalgamated into one Clary is really just Ginny The bad guys seems too much like good ol Voldie The plot is painfully similar to DT It was like reading her old work all over again And I think, because she was really just redressing her old characters, she didn t even both to give them any growth in this story.To be honest, I didn t read far because the writing was boring oh my lord, the similes Someone save me from them and poorly constructed the characters were boring and poorly constructed and the plot was boring and poorly constructed.I d already read DT so I didn t need to read this.